Out of Darkness
it's 6:31 am. my eyes are burning and tired. but i feel like i am slowly coming out of this very dark place i've been for about a week now. i am not sure how i got there. but it's been lonely and sad. it may be about the death that i've encountered this past month. it might be anxiety building for my upcoming doctor's appointment. it could be the frustration i feel with my DH and this crazy diet he's on, or the fact that he obsesses about the diet and the van and the stuff going on at school. but i need him to obsess about other things, and it's not happening. anyway i have fallen into this trap of loneliness and quiet but i am slowly seeing the light again. i don't like to be depressed. it doesn't look good on me.
march is almost over, can you believe it? i like april but my favorite month is may. it's going to be a busy busy spring/summer season. so i better crawl out of this hole i'm in and get ready to tackle bigger things.
since i don't like a pictureless post, i will show you my newest obsession. i cannot wait til he arrives.
have you seen such a cute whale in all of your days? Artist Kylie Parry, she is such a hero!
march is almost over, can you believe it? i like april but my favorite month is may. it's going to be a busy busy spring/summer season. so i better crawl out of this hole i'm in and get ready to tackle bigger things.
since i don't like a pictureless post, i will show you my newest obsession. i cannot wait til he arrives.
have you seen such a cute whale in all of your days? Artist Kylie Parry, she is such a hero!
Wonderful wonderful whale!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs Lorelei!
Lori, I really feel that some of these things (especially the crazy diet) will run their course. Having encountered several deaths lately myself, I can attest to the fact that they do drag one down, but that's healthy and necessary. I think you are going through what you need to go through. I also sense that little by little, these things will resolve. Summer is coming!
ReplyDeleteSending you a huge hug Lorelei. When I am low, I always remember to tell myself, that it is okay to feel a range of emotions, including the bad ones, that is living, and trying to embrace the crappy times for what they are, crappy, means we can then embrace the better times even more. I also believe that things are ever changing, as Jenny said, things will run their course, nothing has the ability to stay the same forever, even if it wanted to, change will happen. Roll on May :) x
ReplyDeleteThat's so strange as I have been feeling down this week too. Disconnected, sad, lost and just burying myself in my work, having moments of sunshine but mostly fog and rain.
ReplyDeleteLorelei,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are going through this. I think women are more attuned to their feelings (where men tend to shove them away, throw back a beer, and they're good). It's good to examine your feelings, especially about the death you experienced. Let yourself move through the various stages of each of these issues, sort through and acknowledge each feeling. It isn't necessarily a bad thing that you are in a funk because this helps you come to terms with what you are feeling. You'll get there in your own time.
That whale is darling!!!!! I can't wait to see what you do with it.
I hope you'll feel better very soon. I love what you do !
ReplyDeleteI had a week like that last week and didn't make ONE thing. I picked up that Eckhart Tolle book, The Power of Now at a flea market and only read about 3 pages of it, but one thing he said really stood out for me. He said depression was about the past, anxiety was about the future and peace is about the present. So, I've been trying to be in the present...it's super hard, but I do feel a lot better. I'm going to work in the garden today, I think tears are good for carrots, I'm not sure. Bead on, sister! You are LOVED. Beth
ReplyDeleteI believe we all have times like what you are experiencing. Everything gets to be too much and not enough of what you need. Here's hoping that it passes soon. {HUGS}
ReplyDeleteHi Lorelei I have been was in a funk depressed for five months at least yours will be shorter but it is no fun never the less. Im sorry too you have been down and dealing with close friends deaths, they arent easy. It was their time to go Home! The days are getting lovely and the trees will bud soon and your heart will soar again! Huggs across the miles Lorelei ox
ReplyDeleteI know how you're feeling Lorelei. I lost my job last September and in October a very dear old friend suddenly committed suicide. I spiraled into one of the worst depressions I had ever been in. I didn't do anything for months, other than sleep as much as I could. Acceptance of things we can't control is hard to handle. All we can do is process it and move forward. I agree with the other postings; women deal with things differently than men and yes, we all have times like this. It's all a part of Life, unfortunately. I once heard an expression: "If we didn't have bad days, how would we know when we were having a good day?" Breathe deeply; exhale. Take it one day at a time. {{{BIG HUGS}}}
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are feeling a bit better! I know at times when we have feelings like this, it seems like you are the only one to feel that way, but you are not alone. Trying to have a baby, puts a tremendous amount of strain and stress on any couple. It's a really challenging road, especially emotionally. If you guys are having a tough time with that it's absolutely and completely normal!
ReplyDeleteI know you have your own network, but you might find http://reinventingfabulous.com/ helpful and/or reassuring. Obstensibly, it is about one woman's journey to improved health and well-being, but it is much more than that. Very much a community. Depression is a frequent topic.
ReplyDeleteAre you still going to the gym - exercise helps combat depression, but harder to do it when you feel crappy. Even walking helps.
Hope you feel better soon.
Lorelei,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you shared this with us, and I'm glad you're starting to come out of the darkness. I'm in a similar place right now, and I'm learning that the darkness is just part of the cycle of life. And when it runs its course, it makes the light so much brighter.
The warmer weather is helping me. If you don't mind me making a suggestion, hula hooping in the sunshine is the happiest, most thoroughly awesome, thing there is.
http://www.thedailymuse.com/health/get-a-hobby-and-get-in-shape-hula-hooping/
This is an article I wrote a few months ago. :)
Spring can be so powerful when it comes to pulling us out of the dark! Winter time blues are tough, and widespread. Love your jewelry!
ReplyDeleteDarkness is no place to be and I am happy to hear you are finding your way out of it. I'm ready for April too. It's been a long winter.
ReplyDeleteHi Lorelei :)
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about what you are going through. Sending you Arizona sunshine.........
This too shall pass. Life has it's ups and downs and when it's down just know that it will get better again.
Oh- what crazy diet is he on?
ReplyDeleteHope you have a nice sunny day soon! The darkness will pass, I promise...
ReplyDeleteAh, Lorelei, I feel for you. Having been married for almost 30 years (in September if I don't kill him before then) I can say that there are ebbs and flows. The most important thing is to talk with one another and to listen - not always easy to do. I like Beth McLarnan's comment, lots of positive there.
ReplyDeletebig hugs L! I'm not sure if I can add anything better to what's been said here but I do know what you're both feeling is part of the process sometimes....
ReplyDeleteIn my thoughts, on my heart ... I didn't know you sometimes felt down, you always seem so sunny. I wish I had magic words to lighten your mood. Ice cream sometimes helps me? or frozen yogurt, if I'm being healthy. Chocolate, if the mood is really dark. Hope I made you smile!
ReplyDeleteLynn
If it makes you feel better doll, most everyone I know is feeling the uphill battle right now! For me, being in the car accident, losing my mother and my cat (of 15 years) in the last 6 months has chipped a pretty hefty chunk out of my mojo- hey, at least you can blog! I haven't blogged in a month, I just don't feel it. I've made stuff but it felt like a job, not a calling. I spend a lot of time on Pinterest. :P But you know- the wheel turns, fortune will rise. It's my feeling that 2012 is about carving your world- nothing will make us happier than our exact dream.
ReplyDeleteHere's to hoping that your days continue to brighten.
ReplyDelete