Dye Hurts

This might be a TMI post so if you don't care to read further, please carry on with your blog hopping.

In this case it helps me to use my blog as a journal where I can discuss personal and intimate details about my current goals of getting pregnant.

Yesterday I went to the doctor for the HSG-
a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG), is a simple in-office procedure that determines whether the fallopian tubes are open, and assesses the presence and condition of fibroids or polyps in the uterine cavity. Very low radiation x-rays are used via fluoroscope, while iodine contrast dye is gently injected into the uterus and fallopian tubes. The procedure takes roughly 20 minutes.

I read up on the test before going and thought I was prepared for it. I drove the hour to Syracuse and got called in, within about 10 minutes.

Without sharing too much detail, I would have liked to shove that speculum up that nurse's ass. She wasn't that gentle, let's just say that. The doctor came in and chatted with me about doing yoga breathing. Asked if I had had painful cramps in the past, and I said sure, occasionally. He said that that was good- this wasn't much worse than that. But then I thought it fishy that he was telling me how to breathe throughout the test.

When the dye was inserted I just about leapt off the table. This pain was like none I've ever had before, in my abdomen. Period cramps, my ass. I tried to do the breathing but to no avail.
It was a rough 10 minutes. 

The good news is, the fallopian tubes are nice and clear with no blockage. So that ruled out any issues there with fertility. The doctor came in and chatted with me about the next steps. Sperm analysis.  A Laparoscopy to check for endometriosis. But then he recommended we go right into IVF.  I asked him in a panic, "but I thought there were still other tests before getting to that point?". And he said that with the amount of time we've been trying, doing drugs and insemination would be pointless. I tend to disagree. I would like to try everything before I have to dish out 10 grand. Thank you very much. This thought was in my head and never came out of my mouth.
I drove home in tears. Frustrated and defeated.  It was a tough day. I hope that the next time I go in there, I can be strong and demand to try everything instead of just assuming IVF is the only answer.  In the mean time, we are going to keep trying. I have heard stories that the HSG sometimes cleans things out enough that pregnancy is easier.

wish us luck.

My friend Alicia gave me this necklace to wear. She swears by Saint Gerard, and is pregnant with her second child now.  I think I may put it on a bracelet that I can wear every day. There is a sweet prayer on the back that I can read every day, to stay reminded of my ultimate goal.  I'm not a religious person but at this point, I will pray to the high heavens if it means getting pregnant. 

I don't have a whole lot of time left. I turn 38 on Friday.  I am looking forward to the birthday weekend. Honey is taking me to Saratoga so I can peruse the bead shop (saratoga beads rocks) and shop the shops, and a nice meal somewhere there. It should be a fun time.

Here's to hoping the week flies by.